It is truly a pleasure and flattering when someone wants you to become one of her bridesmaids. From among her network of female relatives and friends, you are chosen to be a part of the entourage.
Though this is a common notion, there are times when you don’t feel like being bridesmaid. There are a lot of reasons why. Being one of the bridesmaids requires commitment and will demand time as well as money. There is a need to organize a bridal shower and to help out the bride during fittings or any other wedding-related activities. This is not good, especially if you are in the middle of a big project or running out of time just attending to your routine.
You also have to prepare financially. Even if the bride pays for your dress, you might need to pay for your transportation, accommodation, and all the other related expenses, not to mention when all the other bridesmaids agreed to chip in for the bridal shower or to buy an ultra-special gift for the bride or the couple.
If you don’t feel like doing it, say no.
But first, talk to the bride and clarify what she expects of you as a bridesmaid. If she tells you that she only needs you to be on the day itself, you may, perhaps, consider.
But, if she tells you that you need to be on-call, as the alternative of her wedding coordinator, then tell her the truth. Tell her that you do not have time as of yet to commit yourself to such a big responsibility.
Tell her also that you do not have the financial means to buy yourself a new dress to wear during her wedding, or to spend for anything out of the budget.
This is one of those situations where telling the truth will set you free—free from commitments you cannot fulfill and from financial constraints. You get to save your relationship with the bride, as well.